I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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