I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
