The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
