I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
