and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
