Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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