I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
