you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
