He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
