I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize