I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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