dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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