Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
