Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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