so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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