they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
