you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i think i have herpe
just one?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
