you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Randomize
