now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
