Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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