Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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