Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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