if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
