Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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