He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
