bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
