You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
