just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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