If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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