What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
