You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
