he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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