I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
