I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
