Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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