Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
