New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
