She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
