Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
