is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
