i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
