Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
