I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
