he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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