omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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