We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize