dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
