I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
