Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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