i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
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