dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
