She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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