brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Jerry, you need to find god
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
