Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
