this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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