I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
