ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
