you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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