Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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