Its about making memories worth repressing
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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