You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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