I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
