Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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