her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
