What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
